On Being Cinderella (for Halloween)

 Should you let your daughter be a Disney princess for Halloween?  If she begs?  If she sees glass slippers at Target and becomes obsessed?  If she's willing to pay for them with her own money?  If she is four?

Well, at our house children have always been allowed to choose what they want to be for Halloween, much like they each get to choose their birthday meal.  I remember it being the same way when I grew up--which is why I was a purple person in sixth grade--purple from head to toe (that happened to be the year of the great Halloween Blizzard, which actually looked really cool with my costume, but I was referred to as a smurf all day at school).  Our first true test of this philosophy came when Solomon was four.  He wanted to be a fairy.  Not an elf, not a wizard, a fairy. They have wings, which is so much better you see.  After a fair bit of thought and planning, my mother and I came up with this costume.



As you can see he is a fall fairy.  The outfit is largely inspired by Peter Pan's costume.  I also looked at about a dozen fairy illustrations around this time, from which I took the leaf beanie.  The wings were store-bought and Solomon himself helped make the wand.  My mom did most of the sewing and I did nearly all of the cutting out of polar fleece leaves.

Believe it or not, Cinderella may have been a more challenging costume for me to come to terms with.  Princesses are wildly popular with little girls these days, and wildly unpopular with a certain segment of mommy society.  While I am not crazy about princesses myself, I am also uncomfortable with claims that they represent every wrong society has ever perpetrated on girls and womankind in general. Originally Charlotte had wanted to be fairy, which would have side stepped the whole issue.  But then she saw those enchanting 'glass' slippers, and she only had eyes for Cinderella.

I hemmed an hawed internally.  I talked up the fairy option to Charlotte.  But I also remembered Solomon's Halloween costume at four.  Really, I was being hypocritical if I didn't let Charlotte be what she wanted, just because it made me uncomfortable.  It was the same issue in reverse.

I didn't know I could make smocking on a sewing machine.

So, we embraced to the Cinderella costume with gusto.  To get myself excited about it, I decided I needed to make the costume from scratch.  Heck, it was only October 15th--ten days to the Preschool Halloween Party.  After a bit of looking I found this lovely-but-challenging tutorial on Home Made Toast.

So back to the princess debate--are they really to blame?  Am I nuts to encourage this sort of thing?  Why, why, why do little girls love princesses so much?  Do they breed helpless, vain, over sexualized narcissists?  Is it a natural healthy part of development?

Trying on the bodice--no sleeves yet.

Here's my take, for what it is worth.  Fairytale stories are engaging.  There is a reason they have endured hundreds of years.  Disney is good at dramatizing them for a modern audience.  We have seen a number of the movies, and for the most part, I enjoy them too.  We do not watch them every day, and we do not watch them to the exclusion of all else.  Interestingly, my now twelve year old son complains that they villanize men.  As far as reading is concerned, we steer clear of Disney.  Most written Disney fairy tales are, frankly, horrible.  The writing is just bad.

Instead I make the most of the opportunity to introduce my daughters to other versions of fairy tales.  Our favorite is Beauty and the Beast by Marianna Mayor.  It has beautiful illustrations and it is Beauty who saves the day with her compassion.  One of the main points of the story is that Beauty is good not because she is beautiful, but because she is compassionate and hardworking and brave.






















Helga's Dowry by Tomie dePaola is another favorite princess story of ours.  Though clearly a product of the 1970s, both in feminist ideals and color palate, the story holds up.  Beautiful but penniless troll Helga goes out and earns herself a dowry when the handsome Lars breaks off their engagement because she is poor.  In the end Helga ends up with someone who likes her for who she is, not her money or her beauty (and ends up with a royal title too).

Fancy Nancy also fulfills the need to read about a frilly, girly heroine without themes of helplessness.  Nancy is a modern day non-royal girl, which can be a nice change of pace.  Vocabulary boosting is an ulterior motive of the author, but she pulls it off in the context of the story (for the most part--this is now a series, and as with all series--some are better than others) so that doesn't bother me.

















For her birthday this year we got Charlotte Many Moons by James Thurber, a favorite of mine.  Not a romance at all (Princess Lenore is but a child throughout the tale), this witty story has a bit of a philosophical bent, emphasizing point of view.  Facing a seemingly impossible task, the court jester and princess ultimately save the day.






















The really crazy thing is that I didn't even think of the year Nova was Aang from Avatar; The Last Airbender (a boy character) for Halloween until the end of writing this post.  Shouldn't  that have brought up all these issues too?  Somehow it didn't.  It seems that girls emulating male role models is nothing anyone thinks twice about these days--whereas too much emphasis on traditional female role models is cause for concern with both boys and girls. Proof positive, in my mind, that we have a long way to go with this gender equity stuff.

Charlotte (dragon) Solomon (ninja) and Nova (Aang) Halloween 2010

Just for posterity,  here is Nova as a scary witch.  She toned it down considerably for her sister's preschool party.