60th Wedding Anniversary plus the 4th of July

For my Grandparents, last September was a milestone few get to celebrate: their 60th wedding anniversary.  Looking at school calendars, sports calendars, and work calendars of their 31 children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren (and spouses), we hit upon the 4th of July as the best day to celebrate, despite the fact that it was precisely two months early.  My aunt and uncle hosted.


During dinner I asked them how they got to 60 years.  This is what they said:

[OK--I am having difficulty uploading the video.  Hopefully I will get it up here soon. What they said right off the bat was 'just keep going.']

My grandparents and four of their five kids

Cameron, Dani, Conor, Solomon, Alyssa and Bart

The day was gorgeous, as you can see.  Lawn games, the trampoline, and a chance to go swimming kept the youngest generation happy.  They also enjoyed playing with their cousins, young and old.

Our fantastic dinner.

The youngest of the great grandchildren romping on the trampoline.

In the pantry at my grandparents' house is a patch of wall with every ones' heights from about 1988 onward.  We have most of my male cousins under 3' and over 6', my kids as toddlers, all my aunts and uncles (at adult height, of course).  I even think my grandparents are on there somewhere.  My grandfather has said more than once that if they ever move, that is the one thing he'll miss most about the house.  So my aunts and uncles did their best to recreate it.  Here they are unwrapping it.  All the previous measurements were already marked.  We had fun adding a few more.

  

Conor looks like he is about to edge out Uncle Jim as tallest in the family.  At 5'6'' (a full foot shorter than these guys) Conor's sister Ginger and I are tied for shortest among the grandchildren--or maybe I alone hold that title--she could be 5'7'').

GG John, GG Rose, and me

As dusk settled, the kids convinced me to get in the pool (and allow them to go swimming too) Ariadne, Charlotte and I chased after glowing, floating, color, changing orbs dotting the water's surface, a special decoration for the occasion.   Soon it was truly dark, time to get out of the pool    and go watch the fireworks.

Built by the town's mayor in the 1970s, the front lawn had a perfect view of the fireworks.  Ariadne sat on my lap and oohed and aahed, genuinely impressed.  After awhile she turned and asked me 'are they real?' In a childhood full of screens displaying special effects like 3D, interactive apps and 'magic' touch screens, I suppose this was a reasonable question from a 3 year old.  When I told her 'yes' she was awed. At some point one of my aunts commented that they should be for rent, fireworks were so much more fun with little kids.

Caitlin's Wedding

On the most beautiful tax day I can remember, my cousin Caitlin got married.  Longtime readers of this blog may notice that I have already blogged about my cousin Caitlin's wedding.  I have two cousins named Caitlin.  (Not all that improbable with twenty first cousins--and they are on different sides of the family).

The church, though not far from our house, was one I had not visited before.   Dark wooden gothic beams spanned a seemingly impossibly large space.  White plaster walls stood out in stark contrast.  An elaborate pipe organ and stained glass windows gave it an elegant, turn of the (last) century feel.  We were seated next to Caitlin's dance teacher from childhood.  Her husband was the minister.

I wish I could remember the reading. It was an unusual reading.  But I liked it.
As part of the ceremony Caitlin and David planted a tree.  A daring move in a white dress, but a beautiful part of the ceremony.  It took the place of a unity candle.

After vows and rings had been exchanged friends and family greeted the new couple on the steps on our way out of the church.

The reception was in the Central Library.  Thoughtful library-themed bookmarks and little notebooks directed us to our tables.  Though I've been to this library many times, I'd never been in this wing.  Thousands of books lined the two-story walls. Classic library ladders lead up to clear glass catwalks halfway up for added access, and then more ladders.  Giant Ming vases rested on the stone floor.

Over dinner we caught up with cousins, and met Johnny, who had recently married into the family (this side of the family has had more small/elopement type weddings than not).  I also found out about my cousin Frank's new business venture, an organic CSA on the family farm.  

My uncle Bob gave yet another memorable father of the bride speech.  He started off with the daring assertion that he had a bone to pick with his new son-in-law because he had not asked permission to marry his daughter, but went on to explain how, in fact, they were perfect for each other and had his blessing.  Not a job I envy, but one he does very well.

Some of us hit the dance floor, but I admit, I felt a wee bit worried I would bump into one of those towering Ming vases, and left it to the younger set (how quickly the mid-thirties switch from feeling young to feeling, at the very least, middle aged).  

The night wound down sipping coffee among the stacks with my parents, sister, cousins, aunts and uncles.  I have never felt so elegant in a library.  We were having such a good time, I felt I could have stayed all night.

Wedding!

At the end of June, Aunt Marianne said 'I do.'  Above are the happy couple together with their parents.  The kids are happy to report they now have two uncles.  Uncle Sylvain fits into the family quite well.  He loves cooking and games, and leans a bit to the nerdy side, all characteristics he shares with Marianne.  A native of France, he is doing his best make our kids bilingual.  Charles and I met in French four---it is possible he might succeed.  

All four of our kids were in the wedding.  We had a junior bridesmaid, two flower girls, and a ring bearer.  Charles did the English language version of the reading for the ceremony, while his cousin Victoria covered the French reading.   

Nova and Charlotte practiced walking in heels in the grass.

Charles, Marianne and Matt

Francoise and Roberta trying out the front row seats.  Believe it or not, in less than an hour storm clouds rolled in and the wedding had to be moved inside.  The lobby made a good back up location.  By the time recessional was done, it was pouring.  

Piloting the rings in by drone was about the coolest way Marianne and Sylvain could have asked Solomon to fulfill the duties of ring bearer.  Their wedding had all sorts of fun, playful elements.  Our first hint of this was the invitation that included a tardis.  The wedding programs were entitled 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Wedding' and included crosswords and wordfinds about Marianne and Sylvain in French and English.  

Elements of the ceremony were serious, others playful.  Their vows, which had all the meaning of the traditional version, we said in anapestic tetrameter, as Dr. Seuss would have written them (so of course the Cat in the Hat had to show up).    

After the recessional, the bride and groom hurried under a 21 Nerf gun salute

A photo booth served as a guest book.  The kids (and most of the adults) took full advantage of the props.  

French family and friends who could not make it to the US sent a lovely little video we all watched at the reception.  In August there will be festivities in France.  

Marianne and Sylain along with their best man and his wife.

Ariadne investigating the dessert.  If you think you spy a tardis...you would be correct.  Here's a closer look.

Charlotte was so enthusiastic about the cupcakes, she ended up with a frosting moustache.  

Solomon and Nova with their cousin Victoria.  

Cousin Tom and his wife Lehaina

First dance...

The dance floor was well used at this wedding.  We heard Kazakh songs, French Songs, Sinatra, Happy, and eventually, despite a complete ban--the chicken dance.  The wedding party and siblings were to blame.  More mischievous fun was in store.  Toward the end of the night, I couldn't find the older three kids anywhere.  It turns out the had been  recruited to decorate Marianne and Sylvain's car.  I hear the inside was entirely filled with balloons.  Ariadne had some tricks up her sleeve too (or in her flower basket).  Around 10:00 she started dispensing blue glow in the dark bracelets.  When Marianne enquired where all the guests had gotten the bracelets, the only person they could credit was the three year old.

Well, the weekend has come and gone, but oh, what a weekend it was.  We partied and visited and celebrated.  The kids danced, danced, danced, all Sunday night.  Here's to a happy marriage!

'I Do'

My cousin Hannah and her new husband Jordan started off their married life early this June.  They are both at that point of glowing youth, of extreme potential.  In keeping with the 21st century, the minister asked us to text bomb them happy thoughts.  Showing my age, I went for the advice cards that were circulating instead.  My advice was to keep going on dates.  Charles filled out more than one.  His last had something to do with letting the Dr or Midwife catch the baby (Ariadne's midwife had asked if he wanted that honor, to which he replied, 'no, that is what I am paying you for.')

At the ceremony, the minister requested that not only they, but all of their guests, help them hold to their marriage vows in the years to come. While by far the most work and love and effort that go into a marriage come from the couple themselves, I found I agreed that there is a community component to marriage.  Marriage does not take place in a vacuum.  It is a cultural institution.  Small overtures and little bits of advice add up to acceptance and encouragement, reinforcing the pair's commitment on all sides.   We get to know someone new and gradually they become part of what that family is. And so each family expands.

During his father of the bride speech, my uncle Bob talked about how his mother knew Jordan was a good match for Hannah.  She said he reminded her of her own husband at that age.  Our lives do span a considerable arc.  I wonder, with that hindsight, what she put on her advice card (or text bomb--people in their 70s have been known to beat me out in technological savvy).

Katrina and Heidi were both at our table.  We got to visit with the quit music of a waterfall right behind us.

Caitlin, Hannah's sister, invitation creator, and maid of honor extraordinaire hand lettered all the invitation and place cards as well.  She is pictured below with their brother, Mathieu. 

We talked and danced the night away.  The ring bearers had some serious break dancing move.  As midnight neared, everyone gathered with sparklers to see the newlyweds off.

Brynn was in town for the wedding.  We got in a good visit, both at the wedding and the next day with the kids.  The summer day was perfect.  We ate outside and the kids climbed the tree (or Grandpa put them in the tree, depending on age).

Mother=Costume Designer?!

One aspect of having kids (especially having a lot of kids) that I never anticipated was how many 'ensembles' I would be responsible for.  I don't mean everyday clothes, though I am responsible for that too.  I am talking about those special occasions where everyone needs to look a certain way all at once--a cousin's wedding, a family portrait, a great grandparent's funeral etc.

I never paid too much attention to fashion, never really developed a personal style.  My sister, on the other hand actually is a costume designer.  She has designed for plays, movies, and even circus acts.  As a teenager she frequently had every single fashion magazine available that month in her bedroom.  So maybe I was doing that polar opposite sibling thing where I completely avoided a skill she was good at.

 Maybe not (we did both design our own prom dresses, which our mother graciously sewed) but the point is, now I have to think about these things.

Coordinating amateur family photos is a whole other topic.  Three out of four were on board.  Don't forget about shoes!  (It was still boot weather outside, in my defense, but not for long).

Now I have more respect for needing to coordinate six outfits for variable weather on short notice (at times mine has had to be maternity, or nursing friendly), or finding three blue dresses without distracting patterns (there is hardly any garment harder to find for an eight year old girl--the only options were school uniform, or flower girl).

While I have always made a point of making sure I have one good dress outfit for Spring/Summer (usually acquired around Easter) and one for Fall/Winter (the timing for this is pre-Thanksgiving), there are still gaps.  Shoes and socks need close attention year round.  Spring and Fall call for good sweaters or light jackets.  Hair must be considered for the girls.

                           

One of my favorite nursing tops, at a wedding with six-month-old Ariadne

Is this all hoity-toity nonsense?  I used to think so.  But the stress of having to pull this all together at the last minute is a real thing.  It is not worth the struggle of trying to 'make something work' the night before a big event.  While I might be able to do that for myself, I simply can't expect that to work for four kids.  And no one likes to feel self-conscious about their clothing, or feel like it doesn't fit.  

This coming weekend we have a wedding coming up.  But for once, I am only in charge of my own clothes.  All the kids are in the wedding!  Here's a sneak peak.