Off to College!

Solomon is off to college! Charles and I dropped him off at UCI on Monday, The University of California at Irvine, to be more formal about it. For our friends and family in Minnesota, it is a lot like going to UW Madison when you live in the Twin Cities. UC Irvine is about 6 hours from where we live in the San Fransisco Bay Area.  UCI ranks in the top 10 of Public Universities in the US. It comes out 35th overall. It is a large public university with lots of opportunities, but also does very well for things like safety and student experience. Irvine is within an hour of Los Angeles and 15 minutes from the ocean. We are very happy with where Solomon ended up.  

On the trip down we listened to Planet Money podcasts, and then a new book by one of it's contributors, Money: The True Story of a Made-Up Thing by Jacob Goldstein. It prompted lots of good discussion, as well as being quite entertaining and informative.    

Angeles National Forest was particularly beautiful. I'm not sure if we were technically in it when I took this, be we did get to see a gorgeous sunset there. 

Solomon's current plans are to major in economics and minor in statistics. Thanks his hard work on many AP classes, he is just shy of sophomore status. Not bad for a kid who missed almost his entire junior year due to a concussion (he tripped while running full tilt). Ok, enough bragging.  On to the move-in. 

It is 2020, so of course nothing is normal. UCI's dorms are open and the dining halls are open, but all classes are online. EVERYONE gets a single. Social distancing measures abound. Covid tests were the first stop when checking in.  Assuming those tests are negative, students will spend the first two weeks quarentineing in a socially distanced pod of six people. If they are positive, there is a special covid dorm. With one of the top 10 hospitals in California, I am sure they will get them medical care when needed. Everyone has a covid go bag, similar to a go bag for earthquakes and wildfire.  (After hearing about a student at NYU who was only fed juice and toast once a day, Solomon was sure to pack plenty of protein bars in his.) UCI seems to be handling all the logistics of covid very well, so those protein bars probably won't be needed.  

Solomon may get to learn Tolkein's Elvish after all.

Moving in went surprisingly well. After Solomon's covid test we had some time to drive around campus. I asked Solomon to pose by a statue of the school mascot, the anteater.  We read the plaque and discovered that anteaters can be HUGE! We are talking seven feet for the largest species.  We got his room set up within a couple of hours. The furniture all got moved around, making a double work as a single.   

The quilt he designed with his grandmother is on the bed, the pillow from our church in Minneapolis made the cut.

Charles found the beanbag chair surpirsingly relaxing after doing the heavy lifting with Solomon. They bunked the beds and stored the top matter underneath, leaving a metal 'canopy' as Solomon called it.

Once Solomon was all moved in we made one last Target run for some pantry items and one or two things we forgot. 

Solomon's RA, Maria, wrote a welcome message to everyone in her zot pod.

One last meal together. At the end we all lingered, not quite ready to leave.

After dropping Solomon off I convinced Charles to take a detour to the nearest beach, a 15 minute drive away. Corona Del Mar is beautiful, I hope Solomon gets there soon (biking it is 30 minutes).

What I Learned from my Accountability Blog

Sometime around my last wedding anniversary (so, mid June), I decided enough was enough and I had to start exercising. Right. Now.  Despite the kids, and also because of the kids.  So I started 365 Days of Exercise With Kids, an accountability blog.

In fact, I have my reasoning right here, from the first post.

Today I resolved to exercise for 365 days straight.  I have four kids.  I will not let this stop me. Whenever possible, I will include them.  Our lives are a template for them, whether we want them to be or not.  So this is partly for them.  But it is also so, so much for me.  My physical ability has been slipping over the last several years and it is starting to add up.  Not to mention that I am happier when I can get in a significant amount of movement each day.   

Still sounds pretty good to me.  And yet, just shy of two months in, the blog died.

Why?

1. Well, in a word DRIVING.  The death of the exercise blog coincided with the start of driving my oldest kid to and from high school 40 minutes away each day.  (That is a minimum of two hours and 40 minutes in traffic each day).  Add in music lessons (x3), circus class (x3), swimming lessons, preschool (x2), co-op classes, and other random but necessary driving like grocery shopping, and all that free time for exercise disappeared.  Before we started the trans-metro commute for 9th grade we  had 8 hours worth of mandatory driving commitments each week.  After our numbers went up to somewhere around 20 hours a week.  That is a part-time job! So I should not be surprised that exercise slipped.

But driving aside, there were other things I learned from the accountability blog.

2.  Novelty is important but so is routine.  I get bored easily, but on the other hand, it is mentally exhausting to try to always come up with something new to try.  Sometimes routine can be a friend to lean on.  It makes things happen that otherwise wouldn't.  For me, a balance of 3-5 routine days and 2-3 novel days would probably work best.

3.  Including the kids is good, but I really couldn't meet my exercise needs if I always included them. Something ling 50/50 or 40/60 or even 30/70 would be much better.  Most of the time they were up for doing whatever I suggested, but I often couldn't get the vigorous exercise I needed while also looking after them.

4.  The observer affect is strong in the blogosphere.  I found that (even though NO ONE was reading my blog) I chose activities differently because I was documenting them.  Photogenic activities got the green light whereas things without equipment or pretty views did not.  This was exacerbated by the fact that I was trying to take a representative picture for every day without photographing my kids' faces or my body.

5. Goals are important.  I am a goal oriented person.  I have been very frustrated with 'weight loss' goals ( I could write a book on that but I won't).  Therefore I thought it would be better to totally take the focus off of results and zoom in on the process.  I won't lie--it still felt more than a little aimless.  The endless daily goal was not doing it for me.  However, I've noticed I do well with event goals--like a ski race, triathlon, big bike rides, etc.

A Dozen Hard Won Tips Regarding the Family Car

Due to a pretty serious rear-ending, we recently got a new car. (By recently I mean last spring, since I apparently have more pressing matters than punctual blogging?!).  In the mean time we had a rental and a loaner.  It reminded me of all the things I've learned about cars since having kids.  Maybe you know all of this already.  Maybe not.  But I thought I'd share on the chance that there might be one or two helpful things on the list.


Hard won tips in regards to the family car;

1. Having a kid in the car lets you use the diamond lane! AKA carpool lane, HOV lane.  (At least in our state--check yours).

2.When transporting kids, plan on a load time of 15 minutes--that means plan on it taking 15 minutes to get in the car, even if you are only going on a 5 minute trip to the grocery store. In my experience it always takes that long, even if we are going somewhere close to home.

3. When purchasing or renting a car, remember to factor in the width of the backseat, and the trunk space.  Big car seats sometimes take up too much space to go three across, even if there are enough 'seats' in the car.  Narrower car seats and/or seat belt extenders can help. Some crossover cars, while technically 7 seaters, might not have enough trunk space for even a small stroller when all the seats are up.  Soft carriers or renting strollers at your destination can be a work around, but it is not ideal. Also, get the rubber floor mats.  They help.  A lot.

4. Keep some car games handy.  Our favorites are; Slug Bug/Bruiser Cruiser, The Alphabet Game (spot all the letters in the alphabet in order), Hold Your Breath Over the Bridge Game.  Unusual (but safe) kitchen gadgets entertained our young toddlers on long road trips when nothing else would (think potato mashers, colanders, measuring spoons). That and Raffi.  As much as I thought my kids would be perfectly happy listening to my music, I was wrong.  Okee Dokee Brothers are good too.

5. Headphones are great for older kids on longer trips.

6. A good audio book makes car rides much better.  No need to reserve them for long trips.  I figured out we were driving about 4-6 hours a week with the kids in the car.  Everyone looked forward to driving when we were in the middle of a good book.

7. Consider keeping a few sleds in the trunk all winter, or a Frisbee and some sand toys in the trunk all summer.  It makes outdoor play much easier to do on short notice.

8. Stamps, coupons and other things that are only useful out of the house might best be stored in the glove box.

9.Turning the key twice in the direction that unlocks the driver's door will unlock all  the doors.

10.There is an arrow next to the gas icon on the dashboard that shows on which side of the car the gas cap is located.

11. Keep a drivers' manual in the car to consult case of weird occurrences (like the steering wheel locking up).

12. Use GPS or your state's Department of Transportation website to figure out the best rout in current traffic, even if you know how to get there (and get a really accurate ETA). On the same topic, get directions to where you are going to park, not where you are going.

13. During the potty training stage, it can be nice to keep a spare change of clothes in the trunk for kids under 4 or 5.  Whether it is a potty accident, slipping in the mud or spilling punch all over themselves, they tend to need spares now and then.

14.  But, in general, have the kids treat the car like a public transportation. Do not let them get in the habit of leaving coats, books, art supplies, etc, in the car (I know this one is hard--we still struggle).

Oh yeah, and don't let your weirdo cat hang out in the car.  We once almost left with a feline stowaway. What cat voluntarily enters a car??

An Evening in Stillwater (Or How We Are Managing Teen Activities with Little Kids)

Solomon and Nova went to a bonfire last summer, an event put on as part of a home school teen group we've been in on for the last year or so.  It was lovely.  Imagine tiki torches, ceviche, root beer and lemonade, sweets, a bonfire and of course--teens--about twenty of them.  We've known most of these kids and their families casually for several years.  Fashion ranged from T-shirts, track pants and shaggy hair to bright red mow hawks complete with full punk style. At 14 and 12 they are old enough to have fun with this group of sweet, highly individual teens, but not old enough to get there on their own.

So what to do?  Impromptu Mommy time. Luckily Stillwater is a beautiful town.  We missed Teddy Bear park by mere minutes.  Instead we spend a lovely evening by the water, checking out the iconic lift bridge and getting a glimpse of the new highway bridge going in.  Rounding out the evening with a stop at a candy store made for happy kiddos.  Even better, they got to see their favorite babysitter Moira when we picked Solomon and Nova up from the party.





Will this always work? No, certainly not.  We will need a varied approach.  So far amusement parks and parades have been good crowd pleasers for times when everyone has needed to come along. We've done a few selective drop off events.  Ballroom dancing club is about as wholesome a place we could hope to drop off our teen and tween.  Carpooling will probably factor in at some point.  Maybe public transit? It is an evolving situation that will take creativity and compromise.  One of the joys and challenges of a 10 year spread is getting in on (nearly) all stages of parenting at once. 



A cruise boat seen from underneath the current Stillwater lift bridge.



And the new bridge, under construction. Below is a view headed into town.  By the time we hit main street, it was too dark for photos.

Mommy Time at the Art Museum

We have done Mommy Time and Daddy Time for years now.  I first hear of the idea from a mom of seven I met at a playgroup years ago (back when we only had three kids).  Once a week her husband would take one of their school aged kids out the local coffee shop or other small excursion, giving each kid an afternoon out with Dad once a month. Some families might call these Kid Dates. Whatever you call it, a little one on one time is always a valuable thing--especially in a large family.

For months, Ariadne has been asking to go 'the museum.' With a little probing I discovered she meant the art museum. The request was to see paintings of flowers, and humans (by which she meant statues of people).  I intended to make it to the Jane Austen Reading Room, a visiting historical room.  The woman working the front desk directed us to The Parasol by Richard E. Miller and Ganymede and the Eagle by Bertel Thorvalsen.

Both suggestions were well recieved.  Ganymede and the Eagle she particularly liked. (And so do I.  In fact, it is one I remember from my childhood).



However, we did find ourselves experiencing The Pull of Technology.  Have you experienced this on a recent museum visit?  The art, or the dinosaur bones, or what-have-you, is right in front of their face, and all the kid wants to do is stare at a screen--often showing an inferior version the exact same thing!  I know museums are trying to be tech savvy, but I wish they could figure out a way to do it that doesn't compete with the very thing they are trying to display.



Here we have Ariadne staring at a photo of Ganymede and the Eagle, while I try to convince her to go a few steps and see the sculpture of Ganymede and the Eagle.  I eventually succeeded.  While I appreciate going to find a specific piece of art, I enjoy unexpected discoveries at least as much.  We also stumbled upon medieval armor, early Christian art, and an antique elevator which all captivated her.  An ornate writing desk was another unexpected delight.

Our final stop was the Jane Austen Reading Room.  Aria was already mentioning she was ready to go home, so I thought we would spend just a minute or two (the key to art museums with small children is leaving when they are ready).  To my surprise, Ariadne was just as interested as I was.  We read Good Night, Mr. Darcy and a board book version Pride and Prejudice. Charming as I find these books, I sometimes wonder about the wisdom of laying out the plot of classics for toddlers.  Never will they be surprised by the endings of these enduring tales.  Of course suspense alone does not make good literature, but there is something about that first time you read a really good book. You can never get it back.

Aria has a fondness for Darth Vader and Son, a comic style little book imagining Darth Vader parenting a four-year-old Luke.  If you are a Star Wars fan, it his hilarous.  We got it for Charles as a Father's Day gift.  Ariadne requested it repeatedly, so I shouldn't have been surprised when we watched the original trilogy this winter and she knew all family connections from the get-go.

 





The second Jane Austen room is from Emma, which I have not read.  Just maybe I will get a chance to read it before the exhibit comes down in June.  The text informs the room, and I'm sure it would be more fun to recognize them from memory than to go through the museum materials that point them out.

A reproduction of Jane's travel desk is available to touch and poke around in.  Ariadne was particularly interested in the sealing wax and the letters.



On the way out we saw one final painting of flowers and a GIANT sculpture of a human head.  Aria was pretty excited by the human head.  We talked about the giant head while we waited for the stop light to change.  Ariadne correctly surmised that is was made of many pieces and was not really, really old (as some of the statues we'd seen).

And so ended our Mommy Time.  The very next day she started asking about her next mommy time and making plans.  While she may have yet to develop patience or a realistic sense of time, at least I know she enjoyed the trip.  I'm sure we will be back to the art museum.

Potty Training--Or, Yes, 15-Month-Olds Can Use the Potty

Note: For actual advice on potty training, skip to the end.  It will be in green. 

Three of our four children asked to use the toilet at 15 months.  Our son, who was the earliest talker actually said 'I want to use the toilet' (though it sounded more like 'I want to ooze de toywet').  As relatively new parents, we were flabbergasted.  We spent the next two weeks in shock, as the request was repeated.  From there I spent another two weeks researching and gathering the necessary equipment.  By the time we had it all ready to go--he was no longer interested.  We failed.  He potty trained shortly after turning three.  We missed the window of opportunity, that is, the window of interest, and had to wait years for it to roll around again.  

Our second child, who was not quite as verbal, but all the more stubborn, succeeded in teaching us that yes, 15 month olds can use the potty.  She made her desire to use the toilet clear by a mixture of pantomime and words.  Thereafter, she refused to wear diapers.  We had no choice.  (And when I say we had no choice, I mean that every time we put a diaper on her she threw a writhing fit until she got it off--even cloth diapers with snaps).   

I went to an elimination communication meeting, where parents tried to get their six month olds to pee in a baby Bjorn little potty and discussed where to get  the tiniest underwear.  Though I had a friend who was a proponent of EC, I privately thought it required more time and attention than it was worth.  I was the only 'child lead' ECer at the meeting, and also had the oldest child. 

 The group stressed the importance of using a small potty the kids/babies would eventually be able to sit on themselves.  Using a little potty turned out to be KEY.  Trying to use a potty seat that attached to the actual toilet was probably the biggest barrier for our son, aside from our delay it letting him try.  
The other bit of useful info I picked up at the meeting was the 'shhh' signaling.  I can still use it with our three year old if she is reluctant to try the bathroom before a long car ride.  (Put the child on the potty/toilet, and make a long continuous 'shhhhh' sound, like running water.  Do this when they need to go, and it will be come a signal to them even when they only sort of have to go).  

Nova was potty trained by 17 months.  

She also put together that sinks always go with toilets. The first time I took her out without a diaper, at about 16 months, she demanded 'potty' 'potty' urgently as soon as we left the house, even though I knew that she'd gone recently.  We pulled into the first gas station we saw, got a key from the cashier for their bathroom, and rushed around the building to the exterior restroom.  Nova pulled the step stool over to the sink, turned on the water and produced a rubber duck from thin air.  She did not have to use the bathroom at all!

Charlotte was our only child who did not ask to use the potty.  But the third time around I knew it was entirely possible and just started setting her on the potting in the morning after she woke up around 17 months.  Her potty training was more gradual, but she was willing to try, even if it wasn't her idea.   She did have a point in here where she constantly asked to use the bathroom at the library, but it was really all about getting the key from the librarian and turning it in the lock herself.  By 21 months we had made the transition.

Ariadne also asked at that magic age, 15 months.  By 18 months we bought a pack of disposable diapers along for a long road trip, but never finished off the pack.  We usually used cloth, even when traveling, but weren't up for it that particular weekend (if anyone is curious about traveling with cloth, email or request a post on it in comments--I have one half written, but am not sure anyone would be interested).  Fourth child potty trained!


Potty Training How To:

1. Start taking your child to the bathroom with you around 12 months. 

2. Within a few months they will probably start trying to help you get toilet paper and pull up your pants, and might even want to flush for you.  Let them do this.  

3.  About a month after the 'helping' phase, they will likely indicate that they want to try to use the toilet.  Let them try as soon as they are interested.  If the flush scares them, wait until they are out of the bathroom.  If it has been months and they have not expressed interest, see 4b.  


4.  GO GET A LITTLE POTTY RIGHT AWAY! By right away I mean that day or the next.  It should be on the floor.  It should not have a lid.  The child should be able to walk over and sit down on it by themselves. 

4b. If it has been several months and your child does not express an interest in using the potty try setting them on the little potty first thing in the morning, or some other time they normally pee and make a 'shhh' noise (or just turn on the faucet) to encourage them to pee.
   
5. Allow your child to go bottomless for as much of the day as possible.  Short dresses are great for this for girls.  For boys I would use a longish T-Shirt.  The idea is to eliminate all the cumbersome 'in between' steps to using the potty.  Often undoing clothing and diapers takes too long to and leads to failure, which is discouraging, which leads to lack of interest, which leads to more failure.  There will be a few accidents, but don't make a big deal out of them.   

6.  Be prepared to be very hands on with wiping, washing hands, cleaning out the potty and flushing.  After all--the kid is only 15 months!  Treat these as separate skills in your mind.  Do not feel like they need to master it all at once.  The main goal is eliminating in the little potty.  Don't let anyone tell you that 'they might as well be in diapers' if you are still helping them with wiping and washing hands. We all know that wiping a toddler's bum is much better that changing a toddler's diaper.  

FIRST PHASE OF POTTY TRAINING IS COMPLETE!! THEY ARE POTTY TRAINED!  Keep reading for the finer points, if you are interested.  

7.  Continue to teach wiping and hand washing.  Make sure they can reach everything they need, including a hand towel.  A step stool comes in handy.  A separate towel hook can also help.  

8. Underwear!  When your child is getting to the potty consistently and seems to be able to wait a little bit, try underwear.  Get underwear they like.  Try it for short stretches at first.  2-3T is as small as it comes, but it usually fits OK. 

9. Going out without diapers.  This one's all common sense.  Go for short trips with plenty of bathrooms available near by.  Bring extra cloths and a wet sack/plastic bag.  Some shopping malls and libraries have tiny child-sized flush toilets in the family bathrooms.  While the aren't necessary, kids do tend to get excited about them--good for encouragement. 

10. Transition to the actual toilet using a toilet seat with a built in toddler seat or a ring placed on the larger toilet seat.  If you don't have one already, get a step stool.  Keep the toddler seat down/on at all time.  It is easy for adults to remove, but hard for toddlers to put in place.  Ariadne is three in the pictures where she is putting the little seat down by herself.  Keep the little potty around for awhile. Sometimes they are just not up for the extra challenge (or time) it takes to climb up onto the big toilet.  Using the little potty occasionally is a lot better than an accident.  Now's the time to introduce flushing, if you haven't already.  

11.  Nighttime potty training can be really easy or really challenging--depending.  Some kids start having dry diapers at night all on their own and, voila, they are nighttime potty trained.  This might even happen before daytime potty training really gets going.  Other kids have persistent bed wetting issues.  If that is the case, constipation is a likely culprit.  Kids can be constipated even if they are passing stool.  It is a matter of more going in than is coming out.  An overfull bowel presses on the bladder causing bed wetting and/or potty accidents.  Bladder infections can also cause bed wetting and accidents.  If bed wetting is a problem, I encourage you to check on these.  And that is all I have to say on potty training.  

Thoughts on May Day, 2015

This is the first photo I found when I googled my old elementary school.  It illustrates the school's goals perfectly (and is a pretty good stand in for my class photos, which are probably in a box in my parents' basement). 

The Day after May Day, 2015

Yesterday morning, I sat in a parking lot listening to every word of Baltimore's chief prosecutor Marilyn Mosby's  press conference while I should have been grocery shopping.
     

At dinner we had a heated conversation about Freddie Gray, with one mad teenage boy and some kids very confused about the legal system and murder charges.  

At night, the older two kids and I saw my cousins in Hairspray, a plot I knew nothing about as the curtain came up.  Turns out, it is largely about race relations and desegregation in the Baltimore of 1962.   Just before intermission the 'TV Anchor' character listed riots and unrest in Baltimore with thirty teenagers frozen in mock-brawl on stage.  He ended with April 2015.  Who would have thought we'd be here now?  

A year or two ago, our church started a focus on racial justice and white privilege.  I was not having it.  I had covered that topic, thoroughly and completely.  One of the top goals of my elementary school education was to ensure that we were not racist.  And I feel that they succeeded.  Growling up I had friends who were Native American, Filipino, Japanese, African and Chinese.  We learned about the civil rights movement, making posters of Gandhi, King and Rosa Parks.  They did the brown eyes blue eyes experiment on us.  I was not going to listen to sermons about how I was racist without even knowing it.  Yes, I knew there were income disparities.  Yes, I knew the unemployment rates were unequal, that education score weren't the same, but there was progress.   We were on the right track.  I thought.  But it turns out I live in my own little bubble.  We all live in our own little bubbles--whether those are bubbles of racial equality or disparity, liberal, libertarian, or conservative beliefs.  We've all been surrounding ourselves with people who think like us.  (And often look like us too).  

The police brutality, and flat out killing, of African American men in the last year or so had been a real wake-up call.  Something's really wrong.  Whether or not I've counteracted prejudice in myself, whether or not I see racism in my life, there is a real problem out there that needs to be addressed.  

White privilege has really been brought into sharp focus by these events.  I remember President Obama talking about how Trayvon Martin looked just like his son would have looked, if he had had a boy.  Now that I have a 5'11'' thirteen year old boy the size of a man, I feel how protected he is by being white.  He can wear a hoodie any day of the week (and often does).  He can stand around on the street corner talking with friends.  This does not alarm anybody.  Change just one thing--his skin color--and I would be terrified for his safety right now.  But because of our extremely pale skin, I can choose whether or not I think of this as my problem.  

The distance--Florida, New York, Baltimore, Ferguson MO, has also felt like an opportunity for inaction.  'That's not happening here.' I tell myself quietly.  But when the incidents are so widespread, I can not longer take much comfort in the fact that none of them have happened in my state.  They are happening all over my country.  

So what should we do?  I really don't know.  I could go to my overwhelmingly white church to see what their thoughts are on the matter.  I probably will.  Tomorrow is Sunday, after all.

An Average Day, Circa Early Fall 2014

Some of you may wonder what we really do all day long.  Homeschooling is as varied as the families that practice it, but here is an 'average' day of ours from earlier this fall.  

This morning began with some Suzuki listening.  We focused on songs for Out and About day, playing both 'name that tune' and 'sing that tune.'

Charlotte and Aria and I read the last story in Molly Wuppie, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, and the Bob book Dot.  It is one we've read before, but not at all recently.  Since Charlotte has been frustrated, I thought I'd try backing up a bit.  She read it remarkably easily but I thought she might be remembering/guessing so I wrote up a word and picture match on the white board using words from the story.  It was harder, but she ended up liking it and asked for more.  We did another two and a half of them for a total of 10 words read.  During this time Nova and Solomon practiced violin.

Next Charlotte and I practiced cello while Nova played with Aria.

Nova and Solomon both did some research for pending projects--Nova on the flight of butterflies, and Solomon on WWII.  Nova did some programing.  Nova also tried out garage band for the first time, 'writing' two songs using existing beats, original melodies, lyrics and harmonies.

I outlined the butterfly written projects a little more clearly during snack.  Solomon is doing a paper, on metamorphosis,  Nova is doing a poster on flight and flight patterns, and Charlotte is doing a book on the butterfly life cycle.



During lunch I read about the partitioning of India into India and Pakistan and the creation of Israel after WWII.

The doctor called, and it turns out Ariadne does still have a bladder infection, so I went to the pharmacy in the afternoon to get her medicine. Because of this we did not get to math or Solomon's violin check in. Nova and I did get to go over her newest song a little bit.

In the afternoon Ivy and Matt came over and we walked up to the park and released our butterflies together. It was a beautiful fall day.

At dinner Solomon asked Charles about dark matter.  In addition to dark matter they talked about where the Big Bang started, vectors and dimensions.  Nova got in on the conversation too.

21st Century Suzuki Music Practice (but really this post is about the importance of VISUALIZING PROGRESS)

 

The Suzuki method-or Talent Education as Shinichi Suzuki referred to it--got started about a lifetime ago, right before World War II in Japan.  Dr Suzuki grew up in a wealthy family that ran a violin factory.  They had switched from making more traditional Japanese instruments.  Suzuki recalled using unfinished violins as baseball bats as a boy.  Then he heard one played and everything changed.

Suzuki ended up going to Europe as a young man to further his studies of the instrument.  He was friends with Einstein, and studied violin with the foremost musicians of the day.  When he returned to Japan he had an epiphany.  All children learned their own languages effortlessly.  Even dialects that were considered very difficult for outsiders, like the Osaka dialect, were mastered young children who grew up surrounded by their sounds.  Suzuki applied that same notion to music, teaching violin to very young children, calling it talent education.  The Suzuki method was introduced to the United States in the 1960s.

Technologically speaking, a lot has changed since then.  Even since the 1970s and 1980s, when many present day Suzuki teachers who were themselves Suzuki students learned, technology has covered a lot of ground.

So today, I take notes on a computer, record new skills or special practice spots on my smart phone, and look up famous performers on YouTube for inspiration.  My iTunes is full of play lists that say things like 'Winter Listening 2014.'  I can search all Gavottes and do a little 'name that Gavotte' game in seconds.  I use an online tuner nearly every day.

But as we embark on Suzuki with our third child, I've found that some of the most important tools are really nothing new at all.  VISUALIZING PROGRESS is huge.  When our first two were starting out, we were resistant to sticker charts and rewards, having read studies on the dangers of extrinsic reward systems.  I now look back on that as young (and foolish) parent idealism.

This winter when Charlotte was working on getting through all the bowing of the many variations of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', nothing motivated her like a monkey chain.  For every section of the song, she got to add a monkey, and that was more than enough motivation for her--for more than a week!  It did not undermine her desire to play music, not at all.  In fact, it provided valuable feedback, letting her know how much she had accomplished and giving her an idea of how much was left to go.

Baby Gear, 0-12 months (before I forget)

As we transition out of the little baby phase (for good?), I feel like making a little list of what I found essential, just to remind myself in case anyone ever asks (like one of the kids some time far off in the future).  As the last couple of years has brought a flurry of changes about what is recommended by the experts when it comes to baby care, I guess it is also oddly historical at this point.  This post is also and excuse to put up a bunch of old baby pictures, in case you hadn't noticed!  

Going Places
A good car seat--Ariadne's was the best.  Adjustable, safe, useable for a long time.  Consumer Reports was very helpful in selecting it.

Solomon, happy in his car seat

A wrap or baby carrier.  We've used Baby Bjorn, the Maya Wrap, and Becco Gemini.  The last two have been my favorite by far.  At this age, we virtually never used a stroller.  Wraps and carriers on the other hand we used every day--in the house, outside, while shopping, you name it.  We also used a baby backpack a lot starting at about 8 months.

Solomon in the backpack

Sleeping
My favorite place for the baby to sleep was in the carrier or wrap.  During the day he/she also spent a fair bit of time sleeping in the car seat in the house for the first few months.

Nova, during the first week 

Swaddling blankets--for the first two or three months these simple cotton blankets were essential.

Port-a-crib with bassinet and toy bar--we had a true bassinet for Solomon, but with all subsequent children, it was clear that the older ones would pull it over in order to look at the new baby--a very dangerous situation.  The port-a-crib bassinet was sturdy enough to stand up to curious older siblings and still relatively easy to move.  At present, we have two (one on the main level and one in the basement).

Family bed--worked very well for us.  Yes we researched it, yes we were careful.  Honestly, a wonderful decision.

Solomon, about 10 months

Nursing (Can I put up a nursing photo??  I have a great one but I don't want my whole blog compromised because of it.)

I found The Womanly Art of Breast Feeding, the La Leche League's breastfeeding handbook indispensable.  My mother was also extremely helpful during the first weeks of nursing.  Went to a lactation consultant around day six with Solomon, which was also helpful.  Turns out he has a high arched pallet--good for singing,  but makes nursing a little painful at the start.   Having help and support (and using it) right at the beginning was really important for nursing to be a success.  It was hard at the beginning but those first  few weeks of effort resulted in months (well actually two years) of a wonderful (and for the most part very easy) nursing relationship.  Hit repeat for all subsequent children--most babies need a little time to get the hang of it, even if their mother is experienced!  Only Aria seemed to be born knowing how to nurse.  

As for the actual 'stuff' I needed for nursing, there wasn't much.  A rocking chair, boppy pillow, and 

water, water, water were the mainstays.  

I am wearing a nursing dress in this four generation picture.  Though I am now comfortable nursing at family gatherings wearing normal clothes, special nursing clothing was helpful in the beginning.

Breast pump--especially when I was a full time student, the breast pump was quite necessary. The rest of the time it has been a nice reassurance to have a bottle of milk on hand when I when I went out.

Wet wound healing gel pads--better than lansinoh for the first week or so.

Lansinoh--for later.

One or two good nursing dresses (or tops)--It is nice to have something both comfortable and dressy you can nurse in.  You never know when you will need it.



Feeding
Finger toothbrush--for all but Charlotte a finger toothbrush worked great.  In the end I think this toothbrush was best tolerated by our most stubborn toothbrusher (the disk below the head of the toothbrush keeps it from going to in to far).

Baby Bjorn Bib--the best! Multiple strangers stopped us in restaurants to marvel at this bib.

Baby food grinder--used this mostly with the first two.  The younger two seemed  to go straight from gagging on even the tiniest piece of food to grabbing whole apples and the like.

Right around the first birthday, baby dishes .  Still haven't found the perfect set of baby dishes, they all seem to break eventually.  We've used melamine and enamel with reasonable success.

Nova learning to sit up, circa five months

Diapers

We began with disposables.  Both being full time college students plus Charles working seemed like insurmountable obstacles to cloth diapering.  At 13 months, I had graduated and we switched to cloth.  It took a couple weeks adjustment, but in the end I liked cloth much better and have been very glad we made the switch.  After quite a bit of experimentation we found plain old prefolds and a good cover worked best for us.  We never have used pins--just folded the diaper in thirds, laid it in the cover and snapped it on the baby.

Safety

Baby gates--We preferred tension mounted or screw into the wall types that swung open and auto closed.

Outlet covers--We installed special spring loaded plates for Nova, so we couldn't forget to put the plugs back in.  They didn't work as well as I'd hoped, however.  The spring action was sometimes strong enough to move the plug and interrupt the electrical connection.  Ariadne really wants to plug and unplug things herself.  It is sort of a fascination.  We've dealt with it mostly by moving chargers to countertops or charging laptops and phones at night, and putting furniture in front of things that need to be plugged in all the time.

Play 
Bouncy seat, followed by activity seat, followed by high chair (basically, a second place to set the baby that is a little more fun and stimulating that a crib).

Play mats and quilts were good for tummy time were loved by Charlotte, tolerated by Ariadne, hated by the older two.

Mobiles/ hanging toys were nice early on.

Ball--became very popular around age one.

Baby doll--also became suddenly very popular at age one or so.

Teethers--several, tastes vary.

Spoons--and other safe household items.



Books--particularly a book called Baby Faces that showed different expressions on the faces of babies and described them in one word.  Another book with baby games (pat-a-cake, this little piggy and other lesser known games) was also helpful.  Other favorites included Moo Ba La La La by Sandra Boynton, Guess How Much I love You By Anita Jerum, Good Night Moon by Margret Wise Brown, Little Fur Family by Margret Wise Brown, Going on a Bear Hunt, Jamberry, Cowboy Baby, The Cat in the Hat, Pat the Bunny, Everywhere Babies, The Usborne Book of First 1,000 words (English), Ten Tiny Toes, Chick a Chick a Boom Boom, Green Eggs and Ham oh, I give up--the whole library.

Quiet Bag--for younger siblings especially, it was great to have a bag put together with silent baby toys.  Church, weddings, recitals (with two older siblings in Suzuki, there were a lot of recitals) were all easier with a quiet bag.  Our favorites were teethers with lots of different textures, non rattling stuffed animals and dolls, board books (especially with little flaps).  Balls are bad because they roll.  Toys that they haven't seen for awhile are always better.