This moment is made up of billions of choices made by billions of people, all choosing what seemed the best choice at the time. No matter how this election turns out, I pledge to continue to make choices with the goal of creating the best future. I will choose dialogue. I will choose respect. I hope all of you will too. It is time collaborate and make our country the best it can be, for everyone. Wishing you all the best as election results come in--whoever you voted for!
Me: Kids, do you want to come with me to vote? This is a big election, a tight election, and a historic election. It is the first we've had a woman candidate for president from a major party.
Charlotte: Wait, what? Why? There have been so many elections. That is crazy. (Age 7)
The above are two posts I made on social media the day of the election.
The kids tagged along with me to our local polling place, the middle school gym. While I filled out my ballot, they climbed the bleachers and read Duck For President by Doreen Cronin.
And well, we all know what happened. The election night party we attended wrapped up early--no one there was in the mood for celebrating. Earlier in the day I had gone door knocking for the Hillary Clinton campaign with the girls (Solomon was at school). We only knocked on the doors of democrats, encouraging them to get to the polls. Even then, I wondered it it was too little too late. In truth, I had secretly thought Clinton was doomed since Comey had reopened the investigation into her emails in October. But I would much rather have not been right.
In the weeks that followed I had some hard and delicate conversations with republican friends and relatives. More often than not though, I didn't have the stomach or the courage for it.
The Inauguration came and went. I participated in the Women's March in January, along with many, many friends. I discovered more that I knew along the way. My sister participated in New York, another friend marched in Washington DC. Another friend knit many, many pink pussy hats. One of my cousins unfreinded me on social media due to my participation in the march.
I was invited to a private conservative group on Facebook, and a private feminist group on Facebook.
My life is such that it might be hard to know where I land--I had a very liberal upbringing and remain so. But I am a stay at home mom. I have four kids. I homeschool. I go to church most Sundays.
But in the last few years--the last 10-15, in retrospect--I have felt the political ground shifting beneath my feet. The things I held most dear about the Democratic party are no longer core values. At the same time, the Republican platform is no alternative for me. I value judging people individually based on their actions and accomplishments, over their membership in any particular group. I value freedom of speech, even if that might offend someone else, even if it might offend me. I value respectful dialog, even (and especially) with your adversaries.
The above words were written in the early days of the Trump administration. Before the pandemic. Before the lockdowns, which we were assured would be over in a matter of weeks. Before our president encouraged hate crimes agains Asians by calling covid-19 'the China virus.' Before he encouraged people to take horse medication and even actual poison to protect themselves, but was luke warm on the vaccines once they became available. Before a Minneapolis police officer murdered George Floyd, before the demonstrations and protests, before immigrants were forcefully separated from their young children at the border, before our president was banned from Facebook and Twitter for spreading misinformation. Before the US pulled out of critical climate accords, before escalations with North Korea and the trade war with China, before Ruth Bader Ginsberg died and the US supreme court became decidedly conservative, before the January 6th insurrection where right wing militants stormed the capitol to try to stop a democrat from becoming the next president. Before Trump was impeached. Twice. I almost forgot that part.
SO much of what we thought was normal changed SO fast.
I also started this post before I lost interest in posting political views anywhere on the internet (or perhaps it is the moral courage which I've lost). These days I hesitate to post even small, inconsequential entertaining details about my daily life. What does it matter? Am I just adding to the endless daily distraction of social media? Will we someday live in an authoritarian Big Brother-like state that will make life and death decisions based on what cute thing my kid said or what I had for breakfast? Will it keep me from getting a job if I voice an opinion now and then? Loose me friends? On a practical level, political posts--really any slightly controversial post--has served to derail otherwise good days without actually accomplishing anything. Consensus is rarely, if ever, reached in a shouting match with hundreds of onlookers. Platforms like twitter and facebook are a digital amplification of this dynamic.
Do those quick changes I spoke of above really mean my reaction should be the opposite? This is not the time to quiet down. This is not the time to take our democracy for granted. It is imperfect, yes, and it will always be imperfect, but we can and should try to improve it. I guess that is another take on the 'in order to make a more perfect union' statement in the preamble to the US Constitution. I can't get behind every single plank of any party's platform (and if you can, consider whether or not you've truly thought through these issues for yourself), but there's still a lot of work I can wholeheartedly embrace, starting with voting rights. Time to do some real work.
